I know it aint easy, but it aint hard trying.

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Hi hello!

I’m Jess :) I'm 19, and welcome to my corner of the internet.

I have a face and sometimes I post photos that can be found if you click here!

Blackcurrant capri suns, musicals and acapella music are the way to my heart.
I like McFly, Glee, The Book of Mormon, Pentatonix and Supernatural stupid amounts & Tom Fletcher and Darren Criss are my heroes.
I'm currently living in London studying creative writing and media studies at Kingston University.

If you ever need anyone to talk to, I am always here. Remember, you’re not alone.

Thanks for joining me in this wierd and wonderful place, be sure to say hi!

Loser(s) like me!

Alot of people have heroes. For some people its their mum and dad, or their friends, or a superman in a comic. For some people, the people who inspire them are historical figures or a family member who has defied the status quo in some way. But for me, its these two men.

Lets take it back a bit.
Age 8 and I’m sat on my sofa. and ALL over the music channels were this band called McFly, and honestly? they annoyed me a bit. but my mum came in and said “Jessica, just give them a chance! I like them!”
So I did.
and I fell in love.
Obviously I loved them all, but there was one guy in particular. He was different the others, the others looked quite cool and he sort of didn’t. He had bright blonde hair and he kept pulling faces and he made me smile. and his voice. I’d never heard anything like it.
and now here I am.

When my mum was killed, one of the few things that got me through it was Tom. His voice soothed me when nothing else could and McFly were one of the few things I had left that made me feel connected with mum. He was one of the only things that could make me happy.
In my 7 years of loving McFly, I had never met them, but I finally got the chance to do so in August 2010. I bit the bullet and wrote a letter to Tom saying thank you for a number of things but for helping me through the tough year I had had. He didn’t have to read it. He could have thrown it away. I’m just another face, after all.
But he didn’t.
He read it.
and he replied to it.
and on that day, I felt like the happiest and luckiest girl in the world. I saw Tom later on in the day and he came up to me and hugged me and asked me if I’d read it. He didn’t have to do any of that. but he did. because he honestly has such a heart of gold. His passion for what he loves inspires me to be a better musician. His love for his best friends reminds me to always treasure mine. Honestly? Tom Fletcher has made me who I am today. He has been there through every triumph, every failure, every fall and every jump, every tear, every smile; everything. I am so thankful that my mum made me listen to Five Colours!

And then, we have Darren.
I saw all this hype around some guy called Darren getting on Glee, and at the time I hated Glee (remember those days? ;D) & someone told me to watch AVPM, and much like with Tom, I heard him sing and fell in love with him as Darren. A few months later, I saw people talking about the warblers & Kurt. while I hated Glee, I have always loved Chris and in turn loved Kurt. so I decided to give them a go and fell for them the first acapella note I heard.
If you’ve been following me for any amount of time, you’ll know that I have been suffering alot specifically over the past year due to a number of reasons. and while other things helped a little bit, nothing helped me more than Darren did. He was and is like my medicine. I’m not going to go into great detail, but to put a long & upsetting story short, if it weren’t for Darren’s song Not Alone and the lyrics “I know it aint easy, but it aint hard trying”, I can safely and honestly say that I would not be here writing this right now.
After alot of hassle, I got the honour to not only see Darren as Blaine at the Glee Live tour in Manchester, I also got to see Darren performing in his first London show at The Borderline. I have NEVER seen anyone with such talent in my life. I’m not sure how to explain it. He has this aura and charm and charisma about him that just draws you in. at numerous times we all found ourselves giggling and grinning because thats how he makes you feel, he makes you forget all the bad things in the world, even if its just for an hour or so.
Watching Darren sing Not Alone was probably one of the greatest moments of my life to date. I was with my best friend whom I’d met on the internet, watching my hero sing a song that saved my life. day in day out, he fills me with the hope and courage and love that I need to get by, and I can not thank him enough.

I was revisiting my old routes earlier and I decided to listen to “When You Look Me In The Eyes” by the Jonas Brothers. It was all fine until they sung “You’re the light that makes my darkness disappear”. these two came to mind, and I just broke.
because thats what they are. They are like my sunshine. When I see them performing or see them on TV or in concert, everything feels so much more happier and brighter. I’ve had so many people say to me that I just change when I’m watching Darren or I’m listening to Tom sing. And I honestly wouldn’t want it any other way.

A lot of people take comfort in the fact that they have their best friends near or a memory or from an heirloom. don’t get me wrong, my best friends mean the world to me. but one of the main things that gets me through the day is these two. In August of 2011 I asked Tom write out a few lyrics from Not Alone for me. He wrote out “I know it aint easy, but it aint hard trying” and “Baby you’re not alone”. I had never ever ever felt as wierd as I did when I was watching him write out the lyrics to the song that saved my life. The day that I turn 18, I’m getting one of the phrases tattooed. I know alot of people think I’m crazy, but no matter what may happen in the future, these two are the people who did and continue to save me from myself and everyone else.

Thomas Michael Fletcher and Darren Everrett Criss. Thank you for being there when no-one else was, when I felt like all hope was gone, for picking up the pieces and helping them stay together, for making me who I am today and for being two of the most beautiful, inspirational, loving people that I know of. You are my true heroes and I love you both so, so, so much.

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    I keep saying ‘oh yeah I’ve finally finished this’ but in my procrastinating mood last night I did legitimately finish...
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  10. d0ugiepoynter said: i love yoooooooou x
  11. jennamcd0ugall reblogged this from jiehsikahhh and added:
    Jess, this is beautiful ♥ It made me all teary-eyed!